Disclaimer
Everything in this site is a personal philosophy and should not be regarded in any way as professional or therapeutic advice. It's simply a site with a few ideas.About this book
Happiness is not about positive thinking, spirituality, random acts of kindness, or even love and compassion. It’s about satisfying long-term, ongoing innate needs.
Who is this book for?
If you are young, this book is for you. It’s to tell you things I wish I had been told when I was young.
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SECTION 1. WHY IS HAVING RESILIENCE IMPORTANT?
SECTION 2. THE NEED TO FEEL SAFE
1. What are you feeling?
- What are you thinking? What are you feeling?
- Label it. And be specific!
- Distinguish between your thoughts and feelings.
- What presses your button?
- Don’t talk like a zombie
- Charlotte and the Creatures of the Dark Forest
- Ignore the dills in the peanut gallery
- The Adventures of Sir Thrustalot.
- Find the hidden concerns.
2. Emotional beliefs
3. Be angry.
4. Be vulnerable.
5. Reduce the intensity of an unwanted emotion
6. Unwanted thoughts.
7. To become an adult
8. Feel invincible.
9. Conclusion
SECTION 3. THE DEEP NEED TO BELONG
Author Archives: Mr Bashful
The difference between stoicism and resilience
Let us not confuse resilience with stoicism, or toughness. A resilient person might endure hardship, but will recover. That’s what resilience means: having the capacity to recover from hardship. Resilient people might express their pain by talking about … Continue reading
Posted in The difference between stoicism and resilience
Tagged Resilience, resilient, stoic, stoicism
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What are you thinking? What are you feeling?
Some of us grow up with mixed messages: our parents tell us what we are feeling, or should be feeling, instead of allowing us to experience what we are actually feeling. Tell a child they’re happy, or grateful, when they’re not, and they’ll … Continue reading
Label it. And be specific!
I once invited someone to dinner. I prepared the food and by 7pm everything was ready. By 7.30pm she hadn’t arrived, so I rang her. ‘Didn’t you get my email?’ she asked me. ‘I sent it this morning.’ … Continue reading
Distinguish between your thoughts and feelings.
Years ago, when I was visiting my uncle Geoff at his farm in Korumburra, he casually asked, ’Mark, how do you feel about circus lions being kept in cages?’ I answered, ‘It’s cruel, it’s wrong, it … Continue reading
What presses your button?
Rolf was a road-rager. One time, when a car in front of him had stopped at the lights, Rolf got out of his car and rapped on the driver’s window, screaming. Fortunately for Rolf the incident did not lead to … Continue reading
Posted in What presses your button?
Tagged buttons pressed, emotion, press button, trigger
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Don’t talk like a zombie.
I once asked an acquaintance – let’s call him ‘Oscar’ – how he felt about losing custody of his dog. He shrugged and replied, ‘These things happen.’ I could have pointed out that he had given me an opinion, … Continue reading
