Author Archives: Mr Bashful

The difference between stoicism and resilience

Let us not confuse resilience with stoicism, or toughness.      A resilient person might endure hardship, but will recover. That’s what resilience means: having the capacity to recover from hardship. Resilient people might express their pain by talking about … Continue reading

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What are you thinking? What are you feeling?

Some of us grow up with mixed messages: our parents tell us what we are feeling, or should be feeling, instead of allowing us to experience what we are actually feeling. Tell a child they’re happy, or grateful, when they’re not, and they’ll … Continue reading

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Label it. And be specific!

I once invited someone to dinner. I prepared the food and by 7pm everything was ready. By 7.30pm she hadn’t arrived, so I rang her.   ‘Didn’t you get my email?’ she asked me. ‘I sent it this morning.’   … Continue reading

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Distinguish between your thoughts and feelings.

Years ago, when I was visiting my uncle Geoff at his farm in Korumburra, he casually asked, ’Mark, how do you feel about circus lions being kept in cages?’          I answered, ‘It’s cruel, it’s wrong, it … Continue reading

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What presses your button?

Rolf was a road-rager. One time, when a car in front of him had stopped at the lights, Rolf got out of his car and rapped on the driver’s window, screaming. Fortunately for Rolf the incident did not lead to … Continue reading

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Don’t talk like a zombie.

I once asked an acquaintance – let’s call him ‘Oscar’ – how he felt about losing custody of his dog. He shrugged and replied, ‘These things happen.’   I could have pointed out that he had given me an opinion, … Continue reading

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Charlotte and the Creatures of the Dark Forest

Once upon a time, young Charlotte was in a paddock warming herself in the sun and throwing pine cones at Farmer Brown’s beehives. Alongside the paddock was the spooky Dark Forest. Out from the Dark Forest strode Anger. Anger was … Continue reading

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