Author Archives: Mr Bashful

If you are young . . .

. . . this book is for you. It’s to tell you things I wish my sister and I had known when we were young. It’s a  pre-self-help book. It’s designed to help you not become anxious in the first … Continue reading

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What is happiness?

Being happy is not about living ‘life’s spectacular journey’. Nor is it about avoiding pain. A happy person feels all the dark emotions: anger, fear, sadness, grief . . . They’re just not broken by them.   There are two … Continue reading

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How did happiness evolve?

It is hard to speak of evolution without inadvertently attributing to it intent. I might say, ‘beetles evolved to fly’, which sounds like the beetles had a choice in the matter. Of course they didn’t. Or, I might say, ‘evolution … Continue reading

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Getting the balance right.

Every day we experience fears: the fear of failure, of rejection, of looking stupid, the fear that our dinner will get cold . . .  We have a myriad of fears. We can reduce those fears by developing the belief … Continue reading

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Should we even seek happiness?

Q. ‘Who wants to be a grinning idiot with no real substance?’ Being happy is not about being a grinning idiot. Happy people still suffer; they still feel all the dark emotions – hurt, anger, fear, sadness . . . … Continue reading

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The difference between stoicism and resilience

Let us not confuse resilience with stoicism, or toughness.      A resilient person might endure hardship, but will recover. That’s what resilience means: having the capacity to recover from hardship. Resilient people might express their pain by talking about … Continue reading

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What are you thinking? What are you feeling?

Some of us grow up with mixed messages: our parents tell us what we are feeling, or should be feeling, instead of allowing us to experience what we are actually feeling. Tell a child they’re happy, or grateful, when they’re not, and they’ll … Continue reading

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