1. The two types of happiness.
‘When I think of happiness I think of a bed. The most essential part of a comfortable bed is a solid mattress. On top of that mattress you have crumpled sheets, you have to change those sheets and pillowslips every week, you have disorganization, you have cold, you have warmth. But the solid foundation is there and that’s your mattress, and all of the things on top of that mattress is what happens in life. The foundation is your happiness.’ Linda Burney, MP of NSW Legislative Assembly.
Q. ‘Mr Bashful, you mentioned His Holiness, The Dalai Lama. Is your approach a Buddhist approach?‘
No. I merely quoted him.
Q. ‘Mr Bashful, please add to what you said in the video.’
There are two types of happiness: 1. Temporary happiness and 2. Core happiness.
Temporary happiness is the result of endorphins, the “happy hormones”, rushing to your brain to make you feel good. You get those endorphins when you experience pleasure of the body or of the mind. You might feel it only for a few seconds if you eat a chocolate, or for a day if your footy team wins, or perhaps for a year if you are a newlywed, but at some point you will return to normal, to your day-to-day core happiness.
Pleasures are wonderful, and essential to a good life, but they do not contribute to your core happiness. However, if you focus on increasing your core happiness you will appreciate those temporary pleasures more, and find them abundant. That’s because when your core happiness is strong you find pleasure in even the little things.
Temporary unhappiness plummets when you suffer in some way, but unless that suffering persists, after a while you will return to your core happiness. The stronger your core happiness, the sooner you return to it.
Core happiness is our innate feeling of wellbeing when nothing in particular is happening. And, because most of the time nothing in particular is happening, it’s important. It’s what makes life worth living. It’s the happiness this blog focuses upon.
Low core happiness is a feeling of flatness, or purposelessness, when nothing in particular is happening. It’s one reason why some people obsessively pursue pleasures: they want relief from that flat feeling; they want to feel good.
If a person has low core happiness it does not mean they are depressed, though someone suffering from depression will understandably have low core happiness.
A strong core happiness makes life enjoyable. This blog is a discussion about how a person might strengthen their core happiness. Basically, it’s about fulfilling innate needs and becoming the person we are meant to be.
Happiness is complex. I can be at a symphony, listening to the most wonderful music in the world, , but if the trumpet starts playing in a loud tone, I am reminded of a traumatic experience with a trumpet player of my youth. Then my happiness fades temporarily as I re-live the past.
I find that in order to be happy, I have to do mind tricks all the time. Cease thinking. Focus on on good things, and stick my head in the sand about the bad things. This works for me. Why not offer advice telling people to ignore bad thoughts. And clear your mind as quickly as possible.
Hi Anonymous,
there are two types of happiness: The temporary kind that pleasures provide – a symphony, a night out with friends, achieving, receiving compliments . . . When the event is over you return to your normal core happiness (the type I’m interested in) – how you are feeling when nothing in particular is happening. That ‘default’ type of happiness is the important one because most of the time nothing extraordinary is happening. Conversely, we have the temporary kind of unhappiness – for example, being reminded of a traumatic experience prompted by a trumpet. Again, after a while we return to normal. It’s important to distinguish between the two types of happiness/unhappiness, because the first type, the temporary type, is subjective. You might enjoy a symphony yet dislike the memories the trumpet prompts, whereas I might be bored silly with the symphony, but wake with joy when the trumpet sounds because it reminds me of a racetrack. We can all figure out examples of what makes us happy and unhappy when it comes to the first type of happiness – I can’t tell you what makes you happy in that regard – but core happiness is innate in all of us and the reasons why we might have a strong core happiness, or a weak one, are the same for us all. And it’s those reasons which are the subject of the blog.
As for your mind tricks, they are good strategies for dealing with your unwanted emotions. Keep employing them if they work for you. But the fact that you have to employ those mind tricks ‘all the time’ might indicate that you are struggling to maintain a strong core happiness, for whatever reason. Or it might not indicate that. We are complex beings, as you suggest, in complex times.
As for your suggestion that we ignore bad thoughts and clear our mind, good idea. They’re good strategies. That subject will be covered in future videos.
Thank you for your comments, Anonymous.
Mr B.