Disclaimer
Everything in this site is a personal philosophy and should not be regarded in any way as professional or therapeutic advice. It's simply a site with a few ideas.About this book
Happiness does not come from positive thinking, random acts of kindness, a high self-esteem, or from having close relationships. Nor does it come from trying to reach our full potential.
It comes from satisfying long-term, ongoing innate needs.
Two of those needs are to feel safe, and to feel that we belong. This book looks at both.Search:
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SECTION 1. WHY IS HAVING RESILIENCE IMPORTANT?
SECTION 2. THE NEED TO FEEL SAFE
1. What are you feeling?
- What are you thinking? What are you feeling?
- Label it. And be specific!
- Distinguish between your thoughts and feelings.
- What presses your button?
- Don’t talk like a zombie
- Charlotte and the Creatures of the Dark Forest
- Ignore the dills in the peanut gallery
- The Adventures of Sir Thrustalot.
- Find the hidden concerns.
2. Emotional beliefs
3. Anger is a wonderful emotion.
4. Be vulnerable.
5. Reduce the intensity of an unwanted emotion
6. Unwanted thoughts.
7. To become an adult
8. Feel invincible.
9. Section 2 Concludes.
SECTION 3. THE DEEP NEED TO BELONG
1. Our Need to Feel valued
- Our need to feel valued.
- I ask of you a favour.
- Help people feel valued
- Ways to feel valued.
- Our self-worth
- We evolved to have a fragile self-worth
- Feeling loveable.
- 1. Be open to receiving love.
- 2. Ditch the mask and be yourself.
- 3. Just two things exist.
- 4. I am better than no one . . .
- 5. Don’t live in Wimp City.
2. Our Need to Contribute.
3. Our Need to Feel Connected.
4. Connecting with the people close to us.
Conclusion
Author Archives: Mr Bashful
Our self-worth.
Partially decayed plant matter in wetlands is called peat. Although it’s found in soggy ground it can catch fire, and it will burn at a temperature so low it doesn’t flame; it smoulders. There are vast underground peat fires in … Continue reading
We evolved to have a fragile self-worth
Imagine you are a member of a tribe. How would you feel if, after days of unsuccessful hunting, you entered the camp with empty arms? Can you picture the group turning their eyes to you in hope, and see their … Continue reading
Feeling loveable.
Despite the countless reminders in life that they are not special, some people manage to stay in touch with their sense of self-worth. As a result, they find it easy to feel valued by ‘the tribe’, even if there is … Continue reading
1. Be open to receiving love.
So, how do we keep the ‘cottage from going cold’? How do we get in touch, and keep in touch, with our self-worth? How can we reignite or reinforce our self-worth, and add to our feeling of being valued? By … Continue reading
2. Ditch the mask and be yourself.
‘They had connection – as a result of authenticity. They were willing to let go of who they thought they should be, in order to be who they were. You have to do that for connection.’ Brené Brown, from her … Continue reading
3. Just two things exist.
We see daffodils as yellow, but a bee will see them differently because they see ultra-violet light. The colour of something depends on the perceiver. When we watch a movie in a cinema we see a story unfold, but a … Continue reading
Posted in 3. Just two things exist.
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4. I am better than no one . . .
This is a difficult chapter to write because I don’t know how to convince you (if you don’t already know) that: ‘I am better than no one, and no one is better than me.’ Kim is gentle and kind. A … Continue reading
5. Don’t live in Wimp City.
The keys in the assertiveness section are invaluable because when we apply them we are sticking up for ourselves. That gives us the powerful message: we are worth sticking up for. That strengthens our sense of self-worth, and it helps us satisfy … Continue reading
Our need to contribute – Introduction.
We have seen that we have an innate need to contribute to the tribe and feel valued for our contribution. That helps us feel connected with the tribe . . . and with humanity. Then, like a bird within a … Continue reading
Follow your heart, a little bit.
Do you know why a dog likes a walk in the morning and evening? And chase balls? And why it hates to be left alone? Yep, it has innate inclinations. Canines evolved the need to hunt at dawn and … Continue reading
The Umpteen Keys to Resilience 