Author Archives: Mr Bashful

What makes you angry? Wrong answer!

Posted on May 25, 2019 by Mr Bashful

 Years ago my uncle Geoff and I were walking in his orchard. Taking a bite out of a big Satsuma plum he asked me casually, ‘What makes you angry?’   I knew I was being set up for something but … Continue reading →

Posted in What makes you angry. | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

An incident occurred and I’m angry!

Posted on May 24, 2019 by Mr Bashful

Step 1. First, be aware of your anger. Label it. Tell yourself ‘I feel angry’ or ‘I feel miffed’ or whatever. Look for the right words to describe exactly what you are feeling. Step 2. Remind yourself: – the other person … Continue reading →

Posted in An incident occurs and I'm angry! | Leave a comment

Be angry with yourself.

Posted on May 23, 2019 by Mr Bashful

Let’s not confuse anger with oneself with self-blame and harsh self-criticism. Anger is a wonderful emotion to have provided we express it in a healthy, constructive manner. So, the next time you are angry with yourself, go ahead and be … Continue reading →

Posted in Be angry with yourself | Tagged | Leave a comment

Be vulnerable.

Posted on May 18, 2019 by Mr Bashful

Some of us create judgments and expectations of the world, to create a picture of how we think the world should be. By knowing what to expect, we gain a feeling of control, of certainty, and as a result we … Continue reading →

Posted in Be vulnerable. | Tagged | Leave a comment

Allow yourself to be criticised

Posted on May 15, 2019 by Mr Bashful

I once had a good friend called Tom, but we grew apart and didn’t see each other for years. Two years ago he lobbed on my doorstep wanting a place to live. He was about to lose his house to … Continue reading →

Posted in Allow yourself to be criticised. | Tagged | Leave a comment

Admit your mistakes

Posted on May 12, 2019 by Mr Bashful

‘Be ready to say the three most difficult phrases in the world: “I was wrong”, “I made a mistake”, and “I’ve changed my mind”.’ Philip Zimbardo, Professor Emeritus at Stanford University. Someone who will not admit to having made a … Continue reading →

Posted in Admit your mistakes | Tagged | Leave a comment

Apologise

Posted on May 10, 2019 by Mr Bashful

Quality apologies are rare, and even rarer when it comes to adults apologising to children. Some of us might be afraid we will be seen as weak, and not worthy of being taken seriously in future.   But when someone … Continue reading →

Posted in apologise | Tagged , | Leave a comment

How to give a quality apology

Posted on May 9, 2019 by Mr Bashful

You are asked to look after a friend’s meal while they answer the door. The meal sits on a coffee table. Your dog enters the room and scoffs your friend’s dinner. Your friend returns to find no dinner and a … Continue reading →

Posted in How to give a quality apology | Leave a comment

How to give a lousy apology.

Posted on May 8, 2019 by Mr Bashful

‘I’m sorry for what I did, but I’ve had a hard day.’  Nuh. That’s not taking responsibility. Avoid the word ‘but’ and don’t give excuses.  Try instead:  ‘I’m sorry for what I did.’   Good. Then think of ways to … Continue reading →

Posted in How to give a lousy apology | Leave a comment

Don’t lie to yourself

Posted on May 6, 2019 by Mr Bashful

If we want to feel comfortable about ourselves and develop a feeling of substance, we need to be clear about what we think, and about what we feel. One way to do that is to avoid lying to ourselves.   … Continue reading →

Posted in Don't lie to yourself | Tagged | Leave a comment