DisclaimerEverything in this site is a personal philosophy and should not be regarded in any way as professional or therapeutic advice. It's simply a site with a few ideas.
About Mark Avery
Mark is different. He doesn’t link happiness with success, positive thinking, spirituality, random acts of kindness, or even love and compassion. Nor does he tell you what to think, or what to feel.
No, he has figured out what really does make a person happy, and there is nothing secret about it. Simply: happiness is our evolutionary reward for satisfying innate needs.
Who is this book for?
If you are in your teens or early twenties, this book is for you. It’s you I want to help. I want you to know things I wish I had known when I was your age.
SECTION 1. The innate need to feel safe.
1. Be aware of what you are feeling.
- Be aware of what you are feeling
- Key 1. Label it!
- Key 2. Be specific when you describe an emotion.
- Key 3. Don’t catastrophise.
- Key 4. Are you feeling other emotions?
- Key 5. Distinguish between thoughts and feelings.
- Key 6. Don’t talk like a zombie.
- Key 7. Alice and the creatures of the Dark Forest.
- Key 8. Cry to become resilient.
- Key 9. Don’t ‘fake it until you make it’
- Key 10. Ignore the dills in the peanut gallery.
- Key 11. Do you have a default emotion?
- Key 12. Find the hidden concerns.
- Our enjoyable emotions.
- Key 13. What presses your button?
2. Be aware of your emotional beliefs.
3. What creates our emotions?
4. Unwanted thoughts.
5. Be angry.
6. Be vulnerable.
7. Reduce the intensity of an unwanted emotion.
8. Move through fear.
9. Judging people.
10. Take responsibility for how your life unfolds.
11. Become unbreakable.
12. Feel invincible.
SECTION 2. The innate need to belong.
13. The deep need to belong.
14. The need to feel valued.
15. Can we value ourselves?
17. The need to contribute.
18. Be assertive.
- Be assertive. (Or ‘Don’t live in Wimp City’)
- Key 44. State what needs to happen from now on.
- Key 45. You are not obliged to give a reason.
- Key 46. Show the person you understand their point of view.
- Key 47. Don’t slam doors.
- Key 48. You don’t need to solve the other person’s problem.
- Key 49. You are not obliged to answer some questions.
- Key 50. Ensure your question is answered.
- Key 51. Don’t be a citizen of Wimp City.
- Key 52. Don’t be an ‘are you sure?’
- Key 53. Don’t be a ‘Maybe’.
- Key 54. Get rid of the ums & ers.
- Key 55. Ask ‘Why?’
- Key 56. Ask for help.
- Key 57. Learn to say ‘No’.
- Key 58. Ask for something in return.
- Key 59. Accept compliments.
19. Being assertive in particular situations.
- Being assertive in particular situations.
- Remain unattached to the outcome.
- Kids: avoid being ‘nagged’ by a parent.
- Stick up for yourself
- Dealing with a nasty person.
- Dealing with an angry person.
- Dealing with hostile emails.
- Steps to take if you need to confront someone.
- Getting away from talkers.
- Opportunities to practise being assertive.
20. We don’t need close relationships to be happy.
21. Connecting to the people we are close to.
22. Feed your soul.
In conclusion . . .