I feel angry with someone. What do I do?

Q. ‘I feel angry with someone and will be speaking with them tomorrow about it. What do I do?’

1. Be aware of exactly what you want to happen. Ask yourself, ‘What is my goal?’



2. Don’t exaggerate. For example, don’t see the situation as awful when it is merely inconvenient.

3. Talk about it with a friend. (That in itself could make you feel better.) Also, prepare what you want to say by writing a letter, or listing your complaints. You don’t have to send the letter, but it will help get your thoughts in order.
Consider sending the letter instead of meeting with the person. You can avoid unnecessary conflict yet still ensure the recipient is clearly aware of your concerns. The recipient can digest your letter and respond to it in their own time. (And hopefully, thoughtfully.)
Face-to-face is better with knotty issues, because you can observe the non-verbal cues.

4. Try to anticipate the other person’s response and prepare for it. (You might get a different response to the one you expect.)

5. Before you meet the person face-to-face, visualise yourself calmly and firmly stating your case. (Expect to show some signs of nervousness, and forgive yourself in advance for them.)

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